What if
This pain that I'm feeling in my chest
Isn't an indication of something that needs to be healed
And instead of something that needs to break out...
... to be accepted?
... to be born?
Mantra
So I'm one of those people who needs an overarching concept, idea, or goal to introduce any semblance of discipline into my life. I spent a lot of my twenties (the late ones, even, not so much the early ones) drinking more than was tasteful (or affordable, even), smoking, eating a lot of chocolate, indulging in all manner of tasty things, and so on. There was certainly an overarching concept at work here: that's delicious, I want more. There was not a lot of examination of how these things were making me feel. Even the pragmatic arguments against these practices fueled my special brand of decadence; when smokes in NY went to nearly $10 a pack for non-rez prices, I justified this as showing particular commitment to my hedonism, budget and lungs be damned. (I'd also like to note here that I'm not griping about any of these practices per se, but rather my relationship to each of them.) Various things over the years have led me to quit drinking (though I'll toast ...
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