In the middle of one of those fall-shaped vortices of nostalgia, which is its own kind of blankness or ability to grasp whatever my real is like right now. I swear late October/early November must have been ... something to me in the past, because this recurrence is maddening. I want the insight-key to unlock this pattern. Anyway. I deep-dove into old blogs I used to care enough to bookmark, and found a veritable graveyard. I find that I want to move so far away from the faceb**k & twi**er-verses but also that I need some sort of way to connect to others, but I've let all of those old muscles and connections wither. (Though, also, to be fair - to beeeee faaaaaaaaaiiiir - the people I like the most aren't on any of those already. They're also more reclusive than anyone else I might want to spend time with, as I generally refuse to be egotistical enough to worry that they're just avoiding me.) I need to reestablish new rhythms, but of course this isn't just about ...
For these holidays, I've decided (we've decided) to make most of our presents for people. It's a pleasant sort of challenge, since even if I'm making the same *kind* of thing for several people, it lets me think about each specific person's personality, particular situation, potential wants or needs, and try to make accordingly. It's also a way for me to feel generous even in a year when we can't afford a lot monetarily. This first thing I'm sharing probably doesn't really count, since it was for Thanksgiving (sort of), and it's just a lil digital output. But I found a lovely meditation from Philip Moffitt, and wanted to share it with Aaron - but also didn't necessarily think he'd read the whole thing. I'm not big on Thanksgiving as a holiday per se at all, but I've been feeling very desirous and needy of working on my attitude of late, and this was a timely way to share those feelings. So I adapted Moffitt's meditation on ...
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