October 26, 2021

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In the middle of one of those fall-shaped vortices of nostalgia, which is its own kind of blankness or ability to grasp whatever my real is like right now. I swear late October/early November must have been ... something to me in the past, because this recurrence is maddening. I want the insight-key to unlock this pattern.

Anyway. I deep-dove into old blogs I used to care enough to bookmark, and found a veritable graveyard. I find that I want to move so far away from the faceb**k & twi**er-verses but also that I need some sort of way to connect to others, but I've let all of those old muscles and connections wither. (Though, also, to be fair - to beeeee faaaaaaaaaiiiir - the people I like the most aren't on any of those already. They're also more reclusive than anyone else I might want to spend time with, as I generally refuse to be egotistical enough to worry that they're just avoiding me.) I need to reestablish new rhythms, but of course this isn't just about writing. 

Things I listened to today:

  • Reb Fountain, basically everything
  • Amanda Palmer & Reb Fountain's beautiful mashup of Blurred Lines/Rape Me

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